I Got Issue with Issues

The summer of 2008 Was a tough time for dating. It was ok while it was McCain/Clinton/Obama but once Sarah Palin came onto the scene it became brutal. Suddenly men who you knew weren’t really politically inclined, suddenly had
their libido in the game and wanted to talk about it.

Now I don’t usually enter into discussions about politics or religion or other polarizing topics on the first date, partly because I try to be an efficient screener, saves time for everyone. If a person says that their god is very important to them or they’re Muslim and very serious about it or hunting is a big part of their life or they think global warming is a conspiracy, I just steer clear. A christian guy who said it was somewhat important to him said he couldn’t see me because I was an atheist. When I said, well that isn’t very christian of you, he
replied, well my friends and my social life are in the church and despite his being very cute, I had to give him the point. If it didn’t come up before it was certainly going to be a conflict at Festivus, so I let him go.

Likewise, I had a guy say to me so as an atheist you would murder someone and not think twice about it? Did I say I was an anarchist? Or the anti-christ? I mean I know they sound similar but I’m pretty sure that’s not what I said. However, if I WAS going to kill someone I think I just found my first victim. Too stupid isn’t a belief system it’s just a problem.

So the summer of 2008 the discussion of Ms. Palin’s attributes arose more often than you could believe or that politics has arisen since. It was more, I think, in defense of something one didn’t really believe, but there’s something about scanty beliefs which make people argue harder for them and I think this was the summer of cognitive dissonance. But I don’t argue. You are never going to change someone’s opinion and really if that was
their stance neither was it going to go far relationship-wise so what was the point? Once there was the great good looking good kisser guy who was Republican and I had to listen to the 2 demons on the shoulder. He’s so cute. But he thinks Sarah Palin is smart. But look at those biceps. But he’s not for women’s rights. But god, he looks like the Marlboro man. But he doesn’t think minors should be able to have access to birth control. Oh gosh, uncle,
ok…..check please.

Fast forward to December 2012.

I met up for coffee with this guy who had the odd habit of not looking at me. Now, I’m not so glaringly gorgeous
that it’s painful to cast your eyes upon my brilliance, nor am I so hideous that I turn men, Medusa-like, into
stone (although a few people have had to check to be sure my hair wasn’t snakes). This guy though couldn’t seem to look at me. It wasn’t the watching-the-ball-game-over-your-shoulder look, nor was it the checking-out-the-hot-blonde-sitting-behind you look, it was more the turning-his-head-and-looking-the-other-way-while-talking look. Or not-look as the case might be. I’ve met a few guys who do that. I attribute it to nerves.

Or mild autism.

Anyway he seemed ok and I agreed to meet him for dinner a few days later. See prior postings regarding boredom. So we meet up a few days later. The deal was he was having dinner with his brother so I would go have dinner someplace (my idea) and he would meet me there after for drinks. He shows up, hadn’t had dinner with his brother and orders a glass of wine and an appetizer. I pick up the tab because I had had dinner and a cocktail and I didn’t expect him to pay for that. This was a guy who had made it a point, repeatedly, of saying how his buddy was dating a gorgeous model and she ‘never put her hand in her pocket’ implying, I’m guessing, she should have been ponying up for something at some point. He could have meant she wasn’t into pocket pool but I don’t think that was the reference. So I know this is a guy for whom this is a bit of an issue and I certainly wasn’t going to have anyone pay for a meal I had eaten alone.

Now I’m not all about who pays but many guys are and the lines and rules are blurry at best. Since he was late for coffee the first time I had gotten my own. I didn’t, however, buy him one as he suggested, because it would have gotten cold – late as he was despite coming from around the corner on foot. I’m not splitting hairs, just setting the scene. No big. In this economy times are tough and I’m always sensitive to try to second guess who
wants to pay, who doesn’t, who can afford to, who can’t.

It’s exhausting.

This guy was a professional with a house in the ‘burbs and a place in the city so likely a date wasn’t going to break him, but it unrolled as it should have. I mention this now because it figures in later. Hang in with me here.

So we sit there chatting and somehow the conversation turns to gun control. Now usually this doesn’t come up and if it does it’s not a big problem on the upper west side of Manhattan where hunting for dinner means finding the name of the place you want to go to on Open Table. And take note it was about a week after Sandy Hook and I have
friends in Newtown. Which I pointed out. But he wanted to talk. So we did. And it started to get heated. And I kept trying to shut it down (how about ‘dem Mets). But as he was an attorney that wasn’t an option. So I said, fine, beyond a handgun for safety and rifle for hunting, what does one need a semi automatic for? He just kept throwing NRA platitudes
at me. This from a guy who doesn’t own a gun nor want one. Just stoking the fire? I was obviously getting pissed can we just drop it? No? Ok then can you just answer the question….counselor? Finally he pulls out Guns don’t kill people people kill people (and they’re not usually atheists, might I add) and I say, OK, I’m done here
and I put on my coat and walk out. After all, the bill had been taken care of, I was free to go. (Get it now?) As I hit the door I hear, Sure, you liberals, it’s my way or the highway. That was the comic relief I needed to bring down my blood pressure but it got better. As I was walking home I got a text “don’t contact me again”.

As if.

Had you been looking at my face when I left you would have seen that wasn’t going to be a problem.

I can’t wait for 2016. I hope Michele Bachmann runs. You conservatives, it’s my way or the highway. I’m biding my time until I can use it.


2 thoughts on “I Got Issue with Issues

  1. Funny. Bon Voyage. Travel safe. Don’t drink the water. Wash hands often. Hmmm, what else are moms supposed to say? Love you, Mom

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